Funny Zodiac Stereotypes

Aries

They have a volatile go-getter attitude paired with explosive energy. Their motto is 'Act first, think later' to which they stick religiously.

Taurus

Hardworking and stubborn in everything they do, but often not very smart. They sometimes splash the cash on the good life, at other times they pray to the mighty dollar and are stingy as hell.

Gemini

Childish know-it-all people with a twisted sense of humour and the attention span of a fly. A cerebral sign, everything happens in their head, even sex.

Cancer

A pessimist whiner who is always on the lookout for a shoulder to cry on. The phrase 'misery loves company was invented for them'. Most people in prison are cancers.

Leo

You think you're a born leader, others think you're an a-hole. You are so vain that you often enjoy masturbating better than sex.

Virgo

Perfectionists in everything they do, they'll go mad if they find a speck of dust on the carpet. They have no sense of humour and sex with a Virgo is only slightly better than with a blow-up doll.




Libra

Annoyingly indecisive they never seem to know what they want, although whatever it is it better be glitzy and expensive. Most men of this sign tend to be gay while women are prostitutes, although they're not sure.

Scorpio

Often mysterious, they are the embodiment of evil. A Scorpio thinks nothing of backstabbing a former friend if they're of no use anymore. Their sex life is taboo and very kinky.

Sagittarius

This is the loud-mouthed optimist of the zodiac. They often have no talent or skills and rely exclusively on luck in their life, with predictable consequences. Their love life is a train wreck.

Capricorn

You are the career type of the zodiac, ruthless and ambitious you always want to be in control. This combined with the fact that you're secretly very insecure and risk averse makes for a wicked man indeed. Of course you're just over-compensating for your lack of virility.

Aquarius

The sign of the scientist and innovator, you come up with the greatest inventions, only to have them stolen from you by other more ambitious signs. You're also prone at making the same stupid mistakes over and over again.

Pisces

You are the most insecure sign in the zodiac, driven by your wishy-washy emotions. A dreamer and a nut-case who believes in conspiracy theories and other far-out concepts.